Personal Development blog

How to Build an Unstoppable Marriage

Keep your marriage strong. Build an unstoppable marriage, with marriage advice that’s simple and works.

Most marriages don’t explode in one big divorce.

They fall apart quietly.
They crumble slowly.

Research from the American Psychological Association shows that small neglects—not big events—are often what cause marriages to unravel.

Through small moments missed.
Through days when you stop looking at each other.
Through nights when you scroll on that damn smartphone instead of talking.

How do I know?

Catherine and I have been at this for over 23 years.
It’s not luck.
It’s not because we’re “perfectly compatible.”
It’s because we choose to show up for each other.
Every. Single. Day.

keep your marriage strong with 100X EDGE life coaches Phil and Catherine having coffee in the middle of the ocean on a paddle board.

If you want a marriage that thrives, not just survives, here are 5 things you need to know:

1. Connection Isn’t Convenient. It’s Built.

You’re not going to “find” time to connect.
You have to make it.
Carve out 15 minutes a day and defend it like your life depends on it.
Because it does — at least the life you want with your partner.

Catherine and I have coffee together every morning.
It’s not negotiable.
Even if we’re tired.
Even if the world’s on fire (like the kids doing the kid thing), we close our bedroom door and have our coffee.
Yes, and even if we have to wake up 30 minutes earlier.

Those moments don’t feel “epic.”
They feel normal.
But normal moments build unstoppable marriages.

2. If You’re Bored, You’re in Danger

A boring marriage isn’t safe.
It’s a ticking bomb.

You don’t have to climb Mount Everest together.
You just have to do something new sometimes.

Catherine and I have tried paddleboarding at sunrise, taking weird online classes, and yes, even art and cooking (we sucked, but we laughed our faces off anyway).

It’s not about being good.
It’s about remembering that you’re teammates.
That you still surprise each other.
That life together is still an adventure.

If you’re bored, do something dumb and new together.
It’ll save you.

3. Gratitude Is More Powerful Than Counselling

You want to shock your marriage back to life?
Start saying real thank-yous.

NOT—”Thanks for doing the dishes.”
Real ones.

Like:
➡️ “You make this house feel like home.”
➡️ “I don’t say it enough, but you being here makes everything better.”
➡️ “Watching you be you is one of the best parts of my life.”

CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) is what you do to bring someone back to life when their heart stops.

Gratitude works the same way for a marriage that’s starting to flatline emotionally.

It revives love, connection, and trust before it’s too late.

Gratitude isn’t cheesy.
It’s CPR for your relationship.

4. Don’t Let Routines Kill You

After years together, routines become invisible walls.
You stop seeing each other.
You just live side-by-side.

If you want to keep your marriage alive, you have to break the script.

➡️ Try a new restaurant.
➡️ Go somewhere you’ve never been.
➡️ Dance in the kitchen at 7am for no reason.

Don’t wait until you’re “in trouble” to start living again.
By then, it might be too late.

5. Grow or Die — Pick One

A marriage that doesn’t grow dies.
Slowly. Quietly. Painfully.

You need to grow together and individually.

Try things that scare you.
Talk about dreams that feel too big.
Stretch yourself — and cheer when they stretch too.

Growth isn’t just sexy.
It’s survival. It’s how you thrive.

Catherine and I have failed at things together.
We’ve tried. We’ve sucked. We’ve learned.
And every time, our roots go deeper.

The Bottom Line:

Love isn’t enough.
Time isn’t enough.
Good intentions aren’t enough.

Action is everything.

You don’t get an unbreakable marriage by accident.
You build it with a 100X million small decisions:
Choosing to listen.
Choosing to show up.
Choosing to fight for it when it’s easier to coast.

Start today.
Not with a big speech.
Not with a grand gesture.

Start with 15 minutes, a small adventure, or one real thank-you.

Stack those moments.
Stack them until your marriage is so strong, it scares the storms away.

Book Your Free Call

Schedule a free 60-minute meeting with Phil and Catherine.

Should Character Count More Than Your Likes?

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost 1874 – 1963

Unfortunately, the world has become a fast-paced and image-conscious society. It is becoming increasingly evident that superficiality and charisma often precede authentic character. 

Every day, more and more people are fixated on appearances, chasing after fleeting trends and seeking validation through external means. 

What should define a person’s worth lies in their character – the essence of their moral values, integrity, and compassion.

Great character is the backbone of a great life, family, and, ultimately, a better world.

Making the conscious decision to prioritize character instead of charisma is crucial for personal growth and building a more compassionate and harmonious society.

The Allure of Charisma

Charisma is undoubtedly magnetic, drawing people towards individuals who exude charm, confidence, and allure. These people (for example, former President Bill Clinton and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau) often can command attention effortlessly and leave a lasting impression on others. 

Charismatic people can be captivating, making them desirable as friends, partners, or leaders. However, charisma can sometimes be deceptive, masking underlying qualities that may not align with genuine moral principles.

The Seduction of Superficiality

With social media and the constant exposure to highly edited and curated content, superficiality has become a prevalent aspect of modern life. 

We are constantly bombarded with images of “perfect” bodies, luxurious lifestyles, and material possessions, creating an insatiable desire to attain such standards. 

This obsession with superficiality has created a culture where looks and external attributes have taken precedence over substance and inner virtues.

The Power of Character

On the other hand, character embodies the core values that shape an individual’s actions and decisions. Integrity, honesty, empathy, and resilience are essential to a strong character. 

Choosing character over charisma leads to a more authentic and fulfilling life, enabling you to build meaningful and lasting connections based on trust and genuine respect.

Why you should Prioritize Character

1. Lasting Impact: Charisma may capture attention momentarily, but character leaves a lasting impact on individuals and communities. People with solid character become beacons of inspiration and serve as role models for others.

2. Personal Growth: Cultivating good character involves self-reflection and a commitment to continuous improvement. When you prioritize your character development, you can embark on a journey of personal growth and self-discovery.

3. Meaningful Relationships: Choose character over charisma. You will foster more profound and meaningful relationships. True friends and companions value authenticity and emotional connection over superficial attributes.

4. Ethical Leadership: This is a world where influential leaders influence society significantly. Leaders with strong character are not perfect BUT are likelier to make ethical decisions that benefit the greater good rather than succumbing to self-serving pursuits.

5. Contributing to Society: People with good character often engage in acts of kindness and selflessness, and instead of thinking only of themselves, end up contributing positively to their communities and creating a ripple effect of compassion and empathy.

Avoiding or Overcoming the Charisma Trap

We must engage in self-awareness and challenge societal norms that promote superficiality. Make a hard stop and shift the focus from charisma to character. 

The following are a few practical steps to help you prioritize character:

1. Self-Reflection: Take time to assess your values, strengths, and areas for growth. Identify your core beliefs and align your actions with these principles.

2. Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Individuals: Seek genuine connections with people who value character and authenticity.

3. Limit Superficial Exposure: Reduce exposure to, or eliminate for a time or permanently, if possible, media that promotes superficiality and negative self-comparisons. (Facebook, Tiktok, Instagram, and the likes)

4. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in others’ shoes, genuinely seeking to understand their experiences and emotions—volunteer for organizations that need your skills but don’t have the economics to pay.

I get it. We live in a society that, more often than not, glorifies charisma and superficiality—BUT instead, do a hard stop and decide to choose, for example, any of the following: honesty, self-sacrifice, loyalty, accountability, and self-control. 

More so today than in the past, Character is a courageous act of defiance.

We can lead more fulfilling lives by prioritizing authenticity, empathy, and integrity and contributing positively to our communities. Together let’s challenge the status quo and forge a path toward a world that celebrates character over charisma, where genuine connections and meaningful relationships always take precedence over appearances and fleeting allure.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost 1874 – 1963

Achieve your goals with small steps

The path to success can seem daunting, but what if I told you that taking just one small step each day could make a significant difference in accomplishing your goals?

We all have dreams and aspirations, grand goals that we want to achieve. Whether it’s starting a business, learning a new language, or getting fit, we often find ourselves overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task. 

How to build momentum.

Making a deliberate choice to take a small step forward each day can kickstart the process of gaining momentum, and we can all likely admit that getting started is frequently the most challenging part.

You can break your objective into achievable segments by dedicating yourself to daily, modest action. Each completed step brings a feeling of achievement and pushes you further along.

The incremental progress creates a positive feedback loop that keeps you motivated and eager to tackle the next challenge. Over time, this consistent effort builds momentum, making it easier to stay focused and dedicated to your goal.

How to beat procrastination.

Procrastination is the enemy of progress. It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life or succumb to distractions that deter us from pursuing our goals. Committing to taking one small intentional step consistently (daily) counteracts the tendency to procrastinate.

The small step becomes a non-negotiable part of your routine, minimizing the room for excuses that you will regret making later.

Train your mind to overcome resistance and prioritize your goals by consistently showing up. Overcoming procrastination becomes a routine, it becomes “it’s just what you do.”

Do this, and you will become more efficient and effective in your pursuit of success.

Continuous Learning and Growth

Taking one small step each day promotes continuous learning and growth. We have all sat on the couch and been the couch warriors critiquing and giving advice to the professional athletes in the actual game. It’s these infamous warriors, the backseat drivers, the ones that are not chasing their goals, that rant and talk tough, saying, “That person is an overnight success.”

Success is rarely an overnight phenomenon; it’s built over time through many struggles, challenges, lessons, and experiences.

Committing to daily action exposes you to new challenges and opportunities to learn. Each step becomes an opportunity for personal and professional development.

Whether you succeed or face setbacks, you gain valuable insights and skills. This incremental approach allows you to refine your strategies, adjust your course, and become better equipped to handle the complexities of your goal.

Building Self-Discipline and Resilience

Discipline and resilience are key attributes that separate achievers from dreamers. Taking one small step every day cultivates discipline and resilience.

It requires commitment and consistency to follow through, even when the initial enthusiasm fades or when obstacles arise. By showing up daily, you strengthen your discipline muscle, creating a mindset of perseverance.

Taking small steps enables you to embrace challenges and setbacks as part of the journey rather than derailing forces. It helps you develop the resilience to bounce back, learn from your failures, and keep pushing forward.

Celebrating Progress and Staying Motivated

Celebrating progress is crucial for staying motivated and committed to your goals. Taking one small step daily provides a tangible measure of progress. Progress is a tiny step forward each day.

Each completed task becomes a milestone deserving of recognition and celebration. Acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small, boosts your self-confidence and reinforces the belief that you are progressing and can ultimately win.

This positive reinforcement will fuel your motivation, reminding you of why you embarked on this journey in the first place. It propels you forward, eager to take the next step and continue the cycle of success.

Final Note

By committing to taking one small step daily, you harness the power of momentum, overcome procrastination, facilitate continuous learning and growth, build discipline and resilience, and stay motivated on your journey toward your goal.

Embrace the power of the 100X EDGE and discover the transformative impact of daily progress on your journey to success and remember, every great achievement starts with a single step.

Game on, my friends!

The REAL Hustle: Success Starts with the Family.

Whether you believe in the Bible or God, I assume you’ve heard or read the story of David and Goliath. You might agree that David was a courageous and successful person.

The following story is about the Biblical figure David.

  1. What does success mean to you?
  2. What are your top 3 priorities in your life?
  3. In every 24 hours, how many hours go toward your top 3 priorities?
  4. Does your calendar reflect your top 3 priorities?
  5. What are you willing to do differently?
David’s Remarkable Achievements

David’s journey to success began with defeating the Philistine giant, Goliath. This remarkable victory showcased his courage and faith and marked the beginning of his ascent in the ranks of Saul’s army. David’s military prowess and leadership abilities soon led him to even more incredible accomplishments, culminating in his eventual coronation as the king of Israel.

As king, David continued to flourish. He expanded the territorial boundaries of Israel, secured victories against its enemies, and established Jerusalem as the capital city. He was a skilled warrior, talented musician, and poet known for composing the Psalms that are still recited and cherished today. His reign was characterized by a golden age of prosperity and cultural development, earning him the title of “a man after God’s own heart.”

David’s Domestic Struggles and Failures

Amid these grand successes, David’s domestic life was marred by turmoil and failures. One of the most well-known instances is his affair with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah the Hittite, one of David’s loyal soldiers.

David’s affair resulted in Bathsheba’s pregnancy, and his subsequent role in orchestrating the death of her husband, Uriah, illuminating the fragility of moral integrity when one’s ambition eclipses ethical considerations. Although hidden from the public, these actions deeply wounded David’s integrity and moral standing.

This saga led to an intricate web of betrayal and heartache reverberating through his household. The rifts within his family, including the rebellion of his son Absalom, cast a shadow over his otherwise illustrious career.

David’s life is marked by a poignant lesson: his failures within his household.

This paradoxical aspect of David’s life teaches us valuable lessons about the significance of success in relationships and its impact on one’s overall achievements.

The stories of David present a profound insight into the complexities of achievement and the importance of maintaining balance in your life and offer a potent source of lessons for those of us striving to harmonize our personal and professional realms.

With that said, my question to you is, with all of David’s incredible success, was he actually successful?

Lessons to Learn


Striking a Balance Between Personal and Professional Success

David’s life highlights the importance of balancing professional achievements and personal relationships. It’s easy to become consumed by ambition and external success, but neglecting one’s home life can have far-reaching consequences.

David’s military triumphs and accomplishments as king were undoubtedly impressive, but his failures at home remind us that true success encompasses both spheres of life.

Success at home is the litmus test for overall success. It encapsulates a timeless truth: Pursuing greatness should not come at the cost of integrity, relationships, and moral compass.

Modern society often lionizes individuals who attain monumental success in their careers, yet the story of David serves as a reminder that true accomplishment extends beyond external accolades. 

Achieving at home encompasses cultivating meaningful relationships, nurturing emotional well-being, and tending to familial bonds. It emphasizes the significance of being present and attuned to the needs of those closest to us.

Family as a Foundation

Triumphs in the World, Turmoil at Home

David’s struggles with his children underscore the significance of family as a foundation for success. While he demonstrated excellent leadership skills in public, his inability to nurture healthy family relationships resulted in a fractured household.

King David, old and presumably hours from the grave, could not keep himself warm. His attendants said, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.” (1st Kings 1:2-3) 

Can you imagine failing so severely that no family member wants to hold you on your deathbed as you take your last few breaths?

Success at home is just as crucial as success in the world at large. Investing time and effort into building strong, supportive family ties can improve your well-being and achievements.

Prioritizing Relationships Amid Ambition

David’s narrative prompts us to reflect on the hazards of relegating personal relationships to the periphery in pursuing professional success. His story is a cautionary tale for those tempted to sacrifice family bonds on the altar of ambition. 

Striving for greatness should not entail neglecting loved ones; rather, it should inspire a commitment to harmonize aspirations with family members’ emotional and psychological needs.

I get it: Today, our world is fast-paced and crazy, with career pressures and commitments abound. However, there is wisdom in David’s story, and it can guide you to strike that delicate balance. It can encourage us to prioritize our families as we ambitiously navigate our career paths. 

Success should encompass not just the heights of achievement in the public domain but also the depth of connection and fulfillment found within the walls of our homes.

Ethical Conduct and Accountability

David’s moral lapse with Bathsheba is a grim reminder of the importance of ethical conduct and accountability. No matter how much external success you achieve, it can be lost with a single unethical decision. David’s story should encourage us all to prioritize our integrity and recognize the lasting impact of our actions on our personal lives and those around us.

Integrity as the Cornerstone of Success

David’s failure to uphold his moral compass at home eventually eroded his achievements on the world stage.

Genuine success cannot thrive on a foundation of compromised principles.

100X EDGE

The allure of shortcuts, unethical decisions, and the disregard for personal values might yield temporary gains, but they inevitably erode the fabric of sustainable triumphs.

Incorporating integrity into your daily life, professionally and personally, will fortify your sense of self and nurture the trust and respect of those around you. Pay attention to the lessons from David’s story, and we can learn that success is a holistic pursuit that requires us to adhere to our values even when faced with the allure of immediate gains.

Redemption and Growth

David’s story also offers hope of redemption and growth. Despite his failures, David sought forgiveness from God and learned from his mistakes. His Psalms often reflect his remorse and desire for spiritual renewal. Setbacks and failures are not the end of the road; they can serve as opportunities for self-reflection, growth, and a renewed commitment to making amends.

Humility and Humbleness

Despite his numerous accomplishments, David’s humility and willingness to admit his shortcomings are striking. He acknowledged his faults and sought guidance from God. 

This humility is a crucial lesson we can draw from his life. Regardless of our success, remaining humble and open to learning from our mistakes is essential for continued growth and healthy relationships.

And the Conclusion?

Life is a delicate art of balancing professional accomplishments with familial responsibilities.

As you and I navigate the complexities of modern life, the wisdom gleaned from David’s story should urge us all to prioritize our relationships, uphold our integrity, and recognize that enduring success is built on the foundation of a thriving and harmonious home.

David’s story underscores the significance of family, ethical conduct, accountability, and humility. It serves as a poignant reminder that neglecting our responsibilities at home can and usually does erode the foundations of our success, no matter how grand it may be in the public eye. 

As we navigate our lives, let’s learn from David’s triumphs and failures, striving to create a holistic and balanced definition of success that encompasses our outer accomplishments and inner relationships.

Game on my friends.